she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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