i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
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Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
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I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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