I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
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I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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