when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize