So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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