the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
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I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
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Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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