hell yes lets make some ravioli
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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