Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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