I am spending my child support on dildos
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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