God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
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I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
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After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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