I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i think i just lost a toe
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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