I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize