'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
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when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
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Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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