Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
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Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
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I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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