Your tits are I can't wait for
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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