My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
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I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
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Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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