I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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