I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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