Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
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I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
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YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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