Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
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I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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