I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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