I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize