I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Randomize