these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize