Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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