Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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