Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
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ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
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"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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