maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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