My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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