wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize