I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize