She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize