You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize