quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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