remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize