I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
love makes seman taste better
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
3pm strippers are depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize