why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize