I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize