So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize