What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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