My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize