there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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