it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize