I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
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the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
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I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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