He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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