But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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