Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Couch. On fire.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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