Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
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Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
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Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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