How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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