i would punch a child for taco bell
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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